Life on Recruiting Duty

Well the past 2 1/2 years have been really hard. Its slowly culminated into this pile of crap. My marriage has grown stronger but our family life has grown weaker. All Mike hears now is what a piece of crap he is, how he is going to get an adverse fit-rep and how his career will be over. You know what really sucks about that? He is the only guy in the RSS in the past 2 1/2 years besides 1 other that hasn't screwed high school girls. He is the only one that has kept his morals and ethics in check, but yet he is the shit head. I am so tired of seeing him worn out and beat down. I am tired of having to see him angry, depressed and upset because he is starting to believe what they are telling him. There is no Marine Corps on recruiting duty and honestly after this duty, I do not know if Mike will reenlist after this and he is the most gung ho Marine I have ever met. Yesterday his boss told him that he doesn't know how lucky our family has it and that I am not a real Marine wife because he hasn't been deployed since we have had kids. You know I thought really hard about that and I would rather have my husband happy and deployed than coming home every night depressed and beaten down. And that is the honest to God truth. How much more are we supposed to take?!? There is a future Marine function today with a cookout that we were invited to but I really do not want to go, if I do, the only reason will be for Mike but I will have to bite my tongue so hard it may bleed.

I feel like they are holding our orders hostage because they do not want Mike to throw in the towel once he gets them, but I am more afraid of what will happen if they don't get us his orders soon. He recently asked the CO where he was supposed to go for his family because he called the chaplain for help and she blew him off, no one knows who the family readiness officer is and the command is a joke. I lost all respect for this command after the incidents that happened at the ball last year and I know I will not get that back. I've decided that they all do not give a rats behind about us, I certainly do not give a damn about them. After going home a few weeks ago when my grandmother got very hurt and needed surgery and my poor mom needed a little break they are now giving him so much shit about it, its not even funny and he took off 3 freaking days, are you kidding me?!?!

I'm over it, I've checked out and I'm done.